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A Busy Day in a Lawyer's Office



Attorney Sharp sat in his office waiting for the morning's business to begin. A somewhat pretty, frail-looking young woman entered.

"Ah! good-morning, madam," said the lawyer, with a smile of recognition, placing a chair for the client. "How are you getting along with your last husband, Mrs. –, I forget your present name?"

"Mrs. Rogg. Oh, we've quarrelled already, and I want a divorce."

"Let me see," said the attorney, reflectively, "this is the –"

"The fifth," replied the young woman. "You promised to make a reduction of ten per cent. each time."

"Yes, I remember now. On what ground do you wish to base the action?"

"Gross neglect. He has refused me the money to buy a sealskin saque."

"Hum-hum–Well, I guess it can be managed if we can get the case tried before Judge Flipp. Have you got any witnesses?"


"Well, I'll take the case for twenty-five dollars and witnesses found, or for fifteen dollars, and you furnish them."

The pretty young woman tripped out of the office, and tried to make a "mash" on a dude of the most pronounced type whom she met at the door.

"Good morning, Mr. De Bullion," said the attorney, with effusive politeness.

Mr. De Bullion stated his business. He wished to contest his late father's will.

"Upon what ground do you want the will set aside?"

"That's just what I wished to consult you about."

"What did the old gentleman die of?"

"He choked to death in a fit of laughter."

"Very good, very good! " chucked the lawyer; "and what was he laughing at?"

"The jokes in a humorous paper."

"Have you got the paper? What did it contain?" asked Mr. Sharp, leaning forward, eagerly.

"I have preserved the paper, folded just at the page he was reading. It contains an essay on the mule and a story about a mother in law."

"That is quite enough. We will contest the will on the ground of mental imbecility. My fees will be two hundred dollars down, and seventy-five per cent. of the estate if I win the case."

Mr. De Bullion having dropped his eye-glass, and being somewhat near-sighted, almost ran into a portly gentleman who entered the office as he went out.

"Doctor, I am glad to see you. Be seated. To get to business, I wished to talk to you about that case of Bloke against the Brass Bound Railroad. You see, the thing stands just this way: If we can't show anything but a broken thumb and a sprained ankle we won't recover much; but if it can be shown that Bloke suffered serious internal injuries the case may prove a bonanza, sir. I am authorized by my client to expend twenty-five per cent. of the amount recovered for contingent expenses. I hope you will make another examination."

"Why, certainly," said Dr. Vaseline, rubbing his oily hands together. "My first examination was somewhat hurried, but I will investigate the case more thoroughly."

As the doctor made his exit the lawyer put on his hat and said to his clerk, "James, I'm going over to the jail to coach Blood up on the insanity symptoms, and then I'll be at Police Court awhile to look after that little larceny case. Don't forget to look up some witnesses for Sneak's good character; and if you see any professional jurors about set out the best cigars, understand?"