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The Ballad of Fair Oscar



  FAIR OSCAR is a youth who dwells On the Fifth Avenue; He is the toniest of swells; But what does Oscar do? He rides, he drives, he turns his wheel, On the Fifth Avenue, For manly sports is full of zeal; What else does Oscar do? He sleeps, he smokes, he drinks, he eats, On the Fifth Avenue, And at the club his friends he meets; What else does Oscar do? He basks in beauty's sunny smile; The ladies are not few Who fain would live in Oscar's style, On the Fifth Avenue. He spends the wealth his father earned— A thrifty man and true— Whate'er he touched to money turned; What else does Oscar do? O Oscar! cease this idle life On the Fifth Avenue; Go start a bank, or take a wife— Find something else to do. This active age of ours can give Each man some work to do; It is not all of life to live . . . On the Fifth Avenue.